Hey friend,
Last weekend, my SO and I were walking back from our favorite pizza spot in Cambridge…
And as we’re chatting, we came to a sudden realization:
After 8+ years of moving around (and never quite feeling at home anywhere), we’ve finally found our “ideal” place to live.
Like with most things in life, you know it’s “right“ when you feel it in your bones. But even so, it can take some time for the feeling to sink in. In our case, it took ~1 month for the realization to really sink in.
How did we get here?
It started off with the notion that where we live is one of the most important decisions we’ll ever make.
Since both of us were moving around for school and work anyways, we thought, why not keep looking until we find a place we both like & feel inspired by? (And thankfully, we had the option to do so.)
Here’s Kevin Dahlstrom on why choice of location is key to building a great life. Check out his linked thread for a deeper dive:
At first, we moved to places we thought we wanted to live in (to “scratch the itch,” so to speak). Then, we started moving to places that actually suited us. Especially as we learned more about ourselves.
We’d first pick a city, then a neighborhood in the metropolitan area.
Through this process, we’ve relied on 1 tool that’s helped us make better and better decisions each time.
That’s what I’m going to share with you today.
(It’s a tool I learned from Jon and Missy Butcher, the creators of Lifebook.)
Why do I need a tool for decision making?
Here’s how it’s helped me:
1. A tool makes big decisions easier by breaking them down into smaller decisions.
Ever tried to mentally sort through your options and make a decision that way?
The more complex the decision and the higher the stakes, the more overwhelming this process can be. Feeling overwhelmed can lead us to seek out too many outside opinions, defer the decision to someone else, or avoid making the decision altogether (which is still a decision!).
A tool makes big decisions less scary by breaking them down into smaller, more manageable steps.
2. A tool separates the intuitive and analytical parts of decision making.
There’s an intuitive and analytical side to decision making. But our brains aren’t well equipped to do both at the same time.
We rely on intuition to determine the options and criteria that are most important to us. Then we use an analytical approach to weigh the options against the criteria we set.
A tool separates out the steps so we can make effective use of our intuition and rational thinking when it comes to making big decisions.
3. A tool helps us minimize self-sabotaging behavior.
Often we second-guess our own decisions by placing more trust in what we “think” the right answer should be.
If we’re not conscious of it, we can end up making decisions that aren’t in our best interest simply because we let other voices influence the outcome. Instead, we need to trust our own instincts. And sometimes this means not allowing ourselves to bias the outcome.
A tool minimizes this bias by taking us through the process, without revealing the outcome until the end.
Basically, having a tool really helps. Trust me!
Also, if you’re making a big decision with another person or group, a tool can help facilitate (and possibly speed up) the process.
Makes sense so far?
Cool, let’s take a look at the tool. I call it a decision matrix.
Here’s what the decision matrix looks like in action:
Here’s how to use it:
- Along the top, list out the options you’re considering.
- Down the left side, list out the criteria that are most important to you in making this decision.
- Next, give each criteria a weight, and write it down under the column “weight.” Here, I use a score between 1-10. 1 = unimportant. 10 = very important.
- Now let’s run through each option. Under the column for each option, consider how well it meets the list of criteria. For each criteria, write down a score between 1-10. 1 = doesn’t meet criteria at all. 10 = meets criteria perfectly.
- After you’ve done this for each option, go through and multiply each score with the weight that’s assigned to that criteria. This is your weighted score. Write it down next to the original, un-weighted score.
- Under each option, add up the weighted scores. Your best option will be the one with the highest total score.
That’s it!
Btw this tool isn’t just for making big life decisions.
You can use it for any kind of decision. Last week, we used it to determine the best way for my SO to make espresso in the morning.
(If you’re curious, the moka pot won.)
Now it’s your turn:
If you’re struggling with a decision in your life, try using the decision matrix.
Don’t worry about plugging it into a fancy spreadsheet (unless that’s your thing). You can draw it out on a scrap piece of paper.
If you do give this a try, reply to this post and let me know if it was helpful!
Talk soon!
Lillian